Queen Victoria’s mourning of Prince Albert was life long.. Jet beads and black clothing became a trend followed by millions. During the same era, heavy loss of young life in Boer and First War made Britain a nation of habitual mourning. It seems a trait of the British is to embellish the loss of family, friends, unknown celebrities. And extend the mourning for years, and sometimes decades. Was Queen Victoria the seed of a nations love of mourning?
No matter what happens during life or how tied to the past: once one makes defined changes we move into the future. Memories are held within objects and even if the memories are good, remembering can cause pain.
Recollection can play cruel tricks: A photograph rekindles a happy time enjoyed with a friend, the memory is dulled by the shadow of another less kind recollection. We return to a place of childhood memories a feeling of happiness is changed when a moment later we are within the sadness of the loss of people within the mind-scape.
I’m fortunate because my inner-being accepts the final sleep as natural. For many, there is no release from the grips of grief. Some people have extended mourning of parents. Understandable if they enjoyed childhood and upbringing. Overcoming loss of wonderful parents is for many almost impossible. Although one must ask if excellent parenting includes teaching children independence from the fear of death, or the loss of a loved one.
Early in 2018 Jon father died and soon after recorded his thoughts about the loss. The words resonated with many people. He told me there would be a time for mourning, reflection and then future. He is now beginning the final stage: making the family home his own. Changing his looks and clearing out the old to make way for the future.
Jon says: “We must move on: life is for living: those who loved us would never wish for life to be suffocated by the final act of life.” Powerful words. Jon demonstrates we should mourn and then live. And there is a time to make a definitive turning point and mark the moment with change.
I wish my friend well: He is a most unusual and independent man: watch this space:
See You Soon