Positive? Every Time

We become what we think, and everything we become is in direct relationship to our thoughts. You know this, the guru and the spiritual teacher teaches the lesson. I would go further and offer the suggestion that losers surround themselves with negative situations and observing those situations and sharing those situations fullstops their lives.

The negative thought or issue is easy to accept. Most often, the negative idea or question is tangible; it has or is occurring and therefore, reality. News media thrives on unhappiness, problems, war, disease and crime. People crave the negative aspects of society: so many desire to be part of the drama. Acting within the theatre provides a sense of being, a sense of reason.

It is Tribal:

Many people fight against the outcome. Voter A has backed the winner and is silent within the party victory. Voter B has backed the loser and now embarks on years of calling voter A an idiot. He cannot see that voter A is happy, is getting on with his life, working toward his future and the security of his family. Indeed, voter B cannot see that his nemesis is prosperous because of his endeavour and hard work. Another (probably worse) aspect of the situation is voter A does not trust or like the griping loser.

A third voter: Voter C is one who has not voted! He has conceded to the consensus. And he also sees voter B’s attitude and unforgiving nature. As Time passes inadequate old voter B’s life becomes more difficult, he seems to struggle at every corner, employment: or if he is self-employed: customers are challenging to find. Every day seems to be a struggle, and all he sees is the negative aspects of society. And of course, the establishment which is charged with running the nation is blamed for his plight. The reality is no one cares about his difficulties only those in the same mindset.

The reality is the people who get on with life, work to their future no matter how difficult the journey: and acknowledge their responsibility to their security have no time to consider the negative aspects of life’s experience. To see and accept reality is often hard and results in sacrifice. And if one’s early years have been squandered, as time passes, feelings of insecurity enter deep within one’s mind. The vulnerability manifests as fear: the fear of ability to pay the rent, buy anything more than essential foods, and forsake the possibility of regular holidays are examples of manifest insecurities.

A and C see the hatred and moaning of B! Who would desire to be associated with, or work with, or spend money with B? Only those who ‘feel the same’. And this is the reason for B’s plight! His negativity is reason for failure.

Fear is as addictive as heroin. As we feel fear, the release from the tension is happiness. But happiness followed by the fear is a seductive emotional merry-go-round and will soon be lost, the ride has to be paid for: time and again. One may see someone with cancer and think ‘I may die like that’ or hear of someone with heart disease and think ‘I hope this does not happen to me’. Truth to tell there will be a final moment: it may be today, or the body could live to 100. And understandably there is a fear of the last sleep for many people. They want to live longer, experience more of life. And yet, they moan about life. Impoverished existence, the establishment which ruins their plights, and for all of the negative observations of life, they are afraid to leave the existence which causes so much anguish. What is wrong with them? They want all – for nothing, no contribution all is ‘self’.

A friend has just separated from her partner. Understandably she is upset, and it is a difficult time they live together in lockdown. What shall I do? She asks. Get on with life, and you have been married before; it’s another relationship. And there will be another, see it as a new beginning, see the positive aspect: You are free to do as you please, sell the house, get another job, tell the world there is a new beginning. Jack’s a nice guy, you’re a tip-top girl, but Jack and Jill have rolled down the hill for the Last Time! Never go back, Jill, Never. Two hours later, she Face Time’s and tells me there is a future; of course, there is a future; the choice is negative or positive. Jill make the positive choice.

Positive: Nothing beats it; it overrules failure and difficult situations. Positive is never going back, learning from actual outcomes, never repeating the same mistakes. Positive is working to the future, making and taking small steps, thinking kindness and love, never harbouring hatred.

Many years ago, a man caused me immense pain. I hated him, and he ruined a problematic relationship. Today, I have nothing but thanks for encountering this man! Without his lies and betrayal, I would not be where I am today. Where am I? Happy, cared for and loved: make no mistake money cannot buy that trio of perfection.

Where am I? 

I have a friend who killed two people: he is the kindest and most generous human I know. I love him for who he is and his compassion and sincere regret for actions made forty years ago. His understanding of the indignity of prisons and greed of the justice system is worthy of a doctorate. I have known two people murdered: Corin and Julie: is the injustice of their deaths in conflict with my friend who has taken life? No, I’m enriched by the wisdom within the tragedies.

I’m 62 this year: the possibility of me seeing Alice, Tristan, Bella and Molly becoming 40 is doubtful. I would love to see their children, successes, homes and families thrive and prosper. I’ll never know their future, and does this concern me? Of course not, this is life; this is the majesty of life. You see: if I entered the final sleep tomorrow, I’d be content to have known them, content to have enjoyed the laughter, and content to have seen the beautiful way they are cared for by their parents. They will encounter horrors, pain and unhappiness, but I’m sure their upbringing will have prepared them for life’s full stop, roadblocks and accidents. They will be surrounded by love and parental safety lines. So why should I fear the inevitable separation?

What a beautiful life! Lizbet, David Bowie, Heaven 17, Jimmy Ruffin, House Music, Havana cigars, pipe tobacco, Guinness, whiskey, The Clash, Kawasaki motorbikes, Isuzu trucks, tarot readings, books, mediations, the Shop and Well Being Shows, fights, drunken nights, anger, Nikon cameras, happiness, debts, money squandered, diving under the sea, Hoover Dam, San Francisco, weeks in France with amazing friends. And all of the people I know and known, the active friendships and ones now closed. Every one a decisive and wonderful moment. And privilege to have lived every second, and yes, I have caused more than a little pain and upset, so what? That is life, that is the wonder of existence.

These words are free-flowing thoughts about positivity and happiness. There are darkness and joy and love and confessions of hatred. Make no mistake, there is only love in my heart and positivity in my inner being. Don’t like me? I don’t care! I have never asked for anything, and I am responsible for my life.

See You Soon

Ian Timothy

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