Long Journey – Nothing Changes
The mileage between my City and Chertsey in the county of Surrey is around 137 miles. M1, M25 Junction 11. Turn first exit left at both of the two roundabouts, third right, to the T-junction then turn left the house is on the right. There will be other ways to get to the destination although this is the one I used. I will never go to the house to collect a photo paper dryer again. If I were asked return in five years time I could follow the route as easily as ABC. I mention this as maps, routes, journeys are a little like life. Once travelled the journey is rarely forgotten and from my description of the route you could use it too. Our reputations are like routes on a map some encounter or travel with us for a while, some times its an easy road, sometimes not. Indeed the often used phrase ‘Journey of Life’ needs no explanation.
The drive had one interesting moment I’ll remember for some time. It was an exceptionally wet day. On a fast motor-way the rain produces the inevitable spray from the truck wheels. For the keen observer this wave of water guides to the driving abilities of those overtaking the heavy vehicles. Hesitation, holding back, indecisive manoeuvres indicate a novice, inexperienced of unconfident driver. One seemed to be in a trance as I overtake. I watch the face, a blank stare looking ahead. Hands are gripped tight on the steering wheel. As I watch, the driver almost telepathically senses my eyes, look to the right and shouts at me. Impossible to hear the words, no doubting they’re expletives of anger.
Rage grips the driver the car accelerates through the spray. Once in front of me the charcoal BMW cuts into my lane. And on they go… the brake lights. Driver attempting to get me to run into the back of the car. A second heavy braking and then a third. The deceleration has taken me and the following traffic down to 30 miles per hour. Trucks go by in the left hand lanes and one of the professional drivers looks at me and shakes his head. The car accelerates away and pulls across the motor-way into lane one. As I drive by I do not look at the lunatic. From the corner of my eye its clear the driver is still as mad as a carpenter who’s just flattened his thumb with a hammer, still shouting into the void of the vehicles interior. I wonder at the venom this person has within their being. I’m fascinated by the power of a stare, I, a stranger amongst thousands of strangers has effected another humans life with a casual glance in time.
Fear is a weird emotion. I’m assuming… No I’m sure the driver was anxious when passing through the spray. And when I happened to glance to my left and eyes met eyes the other human believed I saw the fear. Or was it the incompetent driving? I saw the incompetence and the driver flipped, was angry with their fear, I’m sure this was the reason for the somewhat risky punishment I had to go through. The action taken was truly criminal in its methodology. What if my two tonne pickup truck had hit the car? Pushing it into the barrier or across into the heavy lorries to my left? Other people killed, maimed or injured. And then the lies. No doubt there would have been lies. “He ran into me. I felt intimidated” And the lies and excuses would have continued. And then the video recording of the heavy braking and two more deliberate attempts to cause injury or death would settle the argument. The possibility of one moron driver kills or maims other and initially shouts “Innocent”. The mirror camera reveals the truth… “Guilty”. And this situation has happen to you at some time, many have encountered the danger breaker.
Was I to blame for the drivers anger? The answer MUST be no. Did I do something to seed to the attempted murder? The answer MUST be yes. The driver knew I was concerned for the way the car was being driven. Hesitation and light braking are indicators of poor driving ability. The thought patten is anxiety, fear, anger, adrenalin, flee. Very often once the mistake is made there is a need to find reason for ones failing and the easy way is to blame someone else.
I’m not writing about driving standards. I do not care how good a driver you think you are. You are as good as the worst driver on the road. A drunk overtakes in front of oncoming cars, a driver swerves to miss him and crosses the road and hits another car head on. All in the resulting collision are killed. Later an investigation concludes that if the driver had braked heavily and avoided impact with the drunk no one would have been injured. The drunk is never found.
This essay is based upon thoughts of right and wrong. Control and anger. Frustration born of ones inadequacies. Accepting responsibility for ones actions. Believing others do not see through facades.
At the market a woman slips on a puddle. Her arm and back sustained heavy bruising and strains in the fall. The water was spilled by an individual who couldn’t care less for the potential danger of water on a smooth concrete floor. A safety officer investigates the incident and during the interview he is told “I don’t know what your f*&king talking about. I would never spill water and not let the cleaners be aware of the danger. F^*k-Off”. And when he was shown the surveillance video he declared “So what its only a fall”. His mind set is ‘Get it wrong’… Deny it. ‘Proven culpable’… It doesn’t matter. And for good measure he becomes aggressive and abusive toward the man who seeks to discover the facts of the incident, and the search for the facts has nothing to do with compensation, the investigation is being made to help prevent the situation reoccurring.
I write of videos revealing the truth. The recordings are unemotional witnesses, electronic swords of justice. And if needed can be used in evidence and often are. And yet, the politician makes pre election promises on video, recorded for all to see and listen too. Three months later the words are autumn leaves of lies falling from the tree of deception. The promises denied, rescinded within statements like “The situation has changed”.
World leader’s are strangers to truth and integrity. I ask why do those who vote for them continue to have faith in those who fail to fulfil their promises? Apathetic man who believe in the political men of straw and when betrayed is without the strength to fight to live in a just society. Is this why ten thousand prisoners can be controlled by 50 armed guards? Blair and Bush killed innocent women and children and no one cares. There were NO weapons of so called mass destruction, men died because of lies. The common man has to put up, shut up or even worse be imprisoned if he speaks his mind and few will. Because truth to tell there is a cowardice within man and the paradox is when he is scared he fights, destroys, punishes, lies and betrays’ his fellow man. Blind faith or apathy? Who knows? Who cares? Am I accumulating more evidence to prove the weakness of the human being? Apologies… I must get off the political soap box.
It makes little difference if one is top of the social ladder or unable to reach the first rung we have similar characteristics. One man’s a winner another a loser and both think they’ve taken the gold medal. Dogmatism, need to control, be right, deny the truth, bend the rules, recycle inherit hatred and never be wrong seems to be ingrained attitudes or a part of many peoples lives. On my daily journeys into and out of the city I watch people forcing their cars to be in front of the next. Cutting up, squeezing in, pushing over into the path of the car in front. Anyway, anyhow, must have that piece of road, its mine you bastard get out of the way selfish attitude. And the drivers are every age, colour and creed.
There was a girl in a Honda who would never know to this day how close she got to being dragged from her car and given the beating of a life time. I freely admit to being the antagonised man who she cut up and then went on to salt the wound with the next few minutes of never under any circumstances giving ground and hitting the fat brake. She may have though she was a winner. I write without conscience she was a spit away from a hospital bed. Her gender was the only reason she was saved a beating. And I thank her for her idiot driving, her arrogance, her pigheaded stupidity. As I realise I am not one of these morons. I do not have to own a road which never can be mine. I do not have work to pay a mortgage, finance the car, prove anything to anyone. I realised she had controlled me, made me angry and full of venomous hatred. What over a stupid young girl in a car? What fool was I?
I have no respect for authority and only for a very few friends. I hope and encourage people NOT to be in my environment. The world is full of people like the moron in the BMW. The liar who’s careless action was the reason the lady slipped on the water he spilled. Or the smug must have everything who will risk everything to be in front of the car behind. Lets make no mistake there will always be a car in front. A person more successful. Someone richer. Another tougher.
And just like the route from my city to Chertsey – I will remember how I got to my destination. And I can assure myself each time I go sleep I do not need to be anywhere other than where I am because I know…
Complete Responsibility Is – Absolute Freedom
The Heart of the Mind 