Be Nice

We know life can be difficult. Unexpected events can add a full stop to a relationship or situation. Fortunately, this is a rare occurrence: most often life is ‘comma paused’ and guiding us to think and review the present position.

No matter how difficult the issue, it is probable you’ll be dealing with an individual or group of people: and it seems sensible to leave a good impression no matter what the outcome. Once doors are closed: distorted memories will keep adding locks.

Locked Doors

Great leaders demand their tribe show respect for the opposition. And this is why there are few great leaders! We live in a ‘my way is best and forget the rest society’. And as generations extend history: the young learn from their peers: and the peers are unknown celebrities, poor political leaders, media pundits and those with economic agenda. In most cases, the seed is greed or the need to control. Is it any wonder we live in a fragmented society?

Tribes are good until the tribe’s beliefs are tested. We see mask or no-mask tribes: carnivores and vegan tribes: politically left and right tribes and unfortunately black and white tribes: all have different viewpoints, which are sometimes defended without compromise. Of course, there is the majority of the indifferent and self-focussed tribe, they are mostly silent. A critical thinker sees the whole picture, and although she has an opinion of the outside world: she chooses to accumulate positive information which is useful to her environment. She knows for every friend who takes Jack’s side in the divorce; there’ll be two who wil hold Gill’s pale of water.

Most of us are not at war and do not have too many issues. We know making the most of our lives is paramount to happiness. We cannot all be millionaires, own mansions, drive 100K cars and enjoy four-week cruises in the Caribbean. Our lives are on the whole Monday to Monday existences, budgeting incomes, sharing and caring, and being aware the life-clock only stops once. Fortunately, we cannot see too far ahead, so why should an uncertain future concern us? Remember, there is nothing in the future which is not formed by thoughts and actions.

Cannot see the Future

Do you wonder why some people seem to win and smile and others lose and moan? And if you do: and you realise the answer is the successful ‘are nice people’ and the failures are often mean and greedy. Being kind is the asset no-one teaches. Being tough is the way for the many. ‘You have to be tough in this life to win’ is the excuse for mean acts and selfishness. Being tough appeals: when we read or listen to the biographies of the successful: the most remembered assets are conviction, dedication, hard choices, walking away from horrific relationships, fighting out of poverty: Sylvester Stallone even sold his dog! Let’s face it: most of us have a secret admiration for the bad girl who became a super-model even worse girl. And what we see is not healthy, it is not the 90% reality of 99% of the population who have masters and mistresses dictating the how’s and why’s of work, income, taxes, lifestyle. And for us, the majority, it’s tough: we do not have to be tough, kindness can still reign: even though our environment is a hard and almost imperceptible uphill climb which eventually wears us down.

Referring back to the question: Do you wonder why some people seem to win and smile, and others lose and moan? Will provide another mid-set compass which is ‘to smile to win’. When we smile from our heart (and smiling from the heart is a genuine smile) we win friends, not every time, but enough times to make smiling and compassion part of daily life a positive and beneficial act. When we smile from the heart, people acknowledge the kindness, because you expose the possibilities of character, the smile says: let’s be happy, let’s work together, let’s be friends.

We’ve all watched the mean at heart. Always ready for malicious words and sharp knife comments usually born from jealousy and envy. What use is their mindset to their happiness, future, and security? Well, the evidence is always to be seen: little money, business failure, job to job employment, light-weight relationships, alcohol and recreational drug abuse are sure signs of selfishness and greed.

And the kind at heart seem to own few possessions and have few needs. They seemingly have no opinion and show resistance to becoming involved in a conflict. Life for them is seeking and being within happiness. They accept the unchangeable situations and know life is a oneway ride. While the mean at heart waste years justifying failure, the genuine smile says ‘This is the way it is: I’ve made many wrong choices, known many wrong relationships, wasted many life-hours. There is no compensation for what is lost, and everything gained has a higher price than we dare tally’. The genuine smile is a medal of hard experience, an acknowledgement of strength and courage and overcoming of adversity.

Kindness Transforms Lives

When we smile from the heart, we demonstrate to all who meet or know us: that we are winners. We know loved one’s die: friends leave: money is lost: people steal and break our resolve. The genuine smile say’s ‘There is more for me: My life will be complete and is worth enduring to the last breath’. A beautiful genuine smile is heart-felt by the person who sees the beauty of the sign of happiness, and your smile lifts their heart, who knows? Your smile may just change their day from dark to light.

It is Nice to be Nice